We’re Number One!

This week in press releases, a highly scientific study has exposed Washington as the cheating-est city in the United States. Let us keep in mind that membership in AshleyMadison.com as a measure of a city’s infidelity is like measuring the number of people without cars in a city by counting the incidence of limo rental.

TOP TEN CITIES FOR INFIDELITY IN U.S. EXPOSED
– Washington has most cheaters per capita according to online affair service Ashleymadison.com  –

An article in USA Today has blown the lid off the nation’s least faithful cities, naming the places with the highest per capita membership on affair service Ashleymadison.com, the notorious website, which caters to people already in a relationship. Already known for its political scandals, Washington placed first in the list, followed closely by San Antonio and Phoenix.
 
Top ten cities per capita

1. Washington, D.C.
2. San Antonio, TX
3. Phoenix, AZ
4. Salt Lake City, UT
5. Oklahoma City, Okla.
6. Pittsburgh, PA
7. Boston, MA
8. Chicago, IL
9. Dallas, TX
10. Orlando, FL

Since its launch in February 2002, the site has drawn heavy criticism for encouraging adultery, but it has grown to an astonishing 13 million members in 17 countries. The U.S. still leads the pack, and even saw a huge spike in signups on the 15th: national membership increased by a whopping 977% the day after Valentine’s day.

As for the other cities on the list, here are our rationales for high adultery rates there:

2. San Antonio, TX — line dancing and adultery are like peanut butter and jelly
3. Phoenix, AZ — citizens need distraction from the constant fear of living under constant threat of being eaten by giant sandworms.
4. Salt Lake City, UT — we are not going to make a polygamy joke. We have standards.
5. Oklahoma City, Okla. — people get bored living in a city and state with the same name, so they need variety elsewhere.
6. Pittsburgh, PA — trying to live up to the title of “The New Portland,” but getting it wrong, as usual.